within myself. I miss being the girl I used to be. The one who loved every second of life, taking on every challenge thrown at me like it was nothing. The one who captured EVERYBODY'S attention when I walked in a room; the "eye candy". Not only because of my perfect body, but because of my perfect personality. I've always strived for perfection. It was pretty much a compulsion. I know it's impossible to be completely perfect, but I wanted to be as close as I could. People have always flocked to me, but over the past 2 years I've pushed any and EVERYBODY away who seems to do wrong to my husband and/or my son. Love maybe? I don't know. I don't wanna be like that. I wanna be the girl I used to be. The one my husband fell in love with. I know she's hiding SOMEWHERE in this "fat suit". I want to be noticed. I want to be skinny again. I want people to remember how awesome my personality is. I want to embrace life for what it is and overcome the challenges that come with life, with a good attitude. I shouldn't join my son in crying, I need to be the strong one. I NEED to go back to being the girl who had the WHOLE WORLD in the palm of her hand, and didn't even know it.
I'm gonna start writing and posting my heart on here regularly again. But because it's gonna be such a personal thing, I'm gonna have most (if not all) of my entries set so that only the users on my "PROTECTED" list can view them. If you want to be on this list, let me know and I will add you accordingly.
